Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Unusually worried

It’s been a while since my last post, for various reasons. Firstly, my laptop is on the blink, the e key either doesn’t respond or types eeeee incessantly. I am using an external keyboard but it doesn’t solve the problem entirely, as sometimes the e’s intrude constantly and make it impossible to type. I’m trying to buy a new keyboard in the UK, any helpful suggestions?

Then I was out of the ofice for a while, at a fantastic workshop looking at the relationship between tourism investors and local communities and how to draw up contracts so that both parties benefit. OK, so you might not think that sounds thrilling, but it’s central to my work and it was a very dynamic few days, with lotsof input from experts in various fields and excellent discussions. I left with my head reeling and loads of new ideas for my projects.

Thirdly, and most unfortunately, we’ve had a run of bad health. First Paulo, who called me back from the workshop because he was rushed to the clinic at 4am in agony. Sand in his kidneys (the makings of kidney stones), and while you’re at it, another dose of malaria. Injections, drips, quinine. He’s now better. Then Joaquim. Malaria again, and I’m very unhappy about this, plus – while you’re at it – a very infected tonsilitis. Penicilin injections, paracetamol and malaria medicine. He’s now mostly better, but still has diarrhea. He’s taken 2 courses of metronidazole (remember the ameobic dysentry post) and we don’t want to give him more as it destroys all your gut flora, plus we’re not sure if that is still the problem. We’re watching closely and if necessary will go to Maputo for tests.

All that was a bit stressful, as you can imagine, and as always brought up the old “should we really be here” debate, and in general got me worrying about all sortsof things. I am not a worrier by nature, those who know me would probably say that I am the opposite of a worrier in fact.e Beuet heeree I am worrying. So I have decided to draw up a list of things that I worry about and things that I don’t to see how the balance is looking and perhaps put my mind more at rest (based on the asumption that I am correct in worrying, or not, about these things). In no particular order, and with varying degrees of untensity.

Thins I worry about:

  1. The kids’ health, and in particular MALARIA.
  2. Whether Joaquim watches too much TV.
  3. That we should be living closer to our families, and that Paulo’s parents are quite old.
  4. That we will never readapt to living in Europe.
  5. That my kids will never be fully integrated into their English family because I am selfishly keeping them away.
  6. That I am not good enough at my job, and that working motherhood is a mistake.
  7. That Joaquim’s teeth are going to rot because he sometimes falls asleep without brushing them.
  8. That we don’t have a properly balanced diet.
  9. Climate change.
  10. That I’m losing my old friends.

Thaings I don’t worry about:

  1. Whether my kids are happy.
  2. My marriage.
  3. My weight.
  4. Whether we get enough fresh air and time outdoors.
  5. Whether the kids get enough time with their dad.
  6. The kids’ mental and physical development.
  7. Breathing polluted air.
  8. Pesticides in our food.
  9. The effect of super-consumerism on my kids’ social education.
  10. My environmental footprint.

So, how does it look? Unsurprisingly enough, kids register high on both lists, but perhaps the non-worries for them outweigh the worries, apart from the malaria. There are some hefty non-worries, which is good, but some equally valid worries. I’d really appreciate some comments here.

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At 10:32 am, Blogger Marie said...

I'd say that you're stuck with 2, 6, 7, maybe 8, and 9 even if you move back. Equally non-worries 3, 4, 7, 8, 9 and 10 are all waiting to turn into worries (it is not possible to live in the west without worrying about your weight).

The one you need not ever worry about is 5. We adults love Joaquim and Sebastian and they love us, and when they see their cousins they have a great time. Remember how easy it was to get close to Jon and Gabs when they moved back from Botswana. It was easy because they are wonderful people and so are Joaquim and Sebastian. So cross that one off your list.

Climate change though - not quite so easily solved...

At 10:12 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What you should concentrate on is that you have the opportunity to do things now that many people will never experience. Ditto for your kids. And kids adapt fine with moving country: think cuzzes as Marie mentions, and me and Elder Sis coming over from France (ok, not quite so dramatic, but a different language nonetheless).


At 2:37 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sound paranoid. How is your mental health?

At 11:50 am, Anonymous Elisa (Italia) said...

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